When My World Seemed to Fall Apart
by ThisIsLilybean
Summary: Megami and Kashikoi get into an argument and Meggie doesn't know what to do with herself. Life goes on normally for her, but she just doesn't feel right without having Kashi at her side.


**Kashi and I watched Ririshii walk down the path down the woods. He was with us until some girl that he liked asked to meet him for dinner. The look on his face was hilarious; he was so excited for it. I was in a pretty good mood, the day was going well and everything. I looked over. I wished that I could say the same for Kashi. His face was twisted into a rather sad expression.**

"**What's wrong, hun?" I asked, gently taking his hand.**

"**Hmm. Nothing," he breezily replied, pulling his hand back.**

**This was oddly confusing. He **_**seemed**_** to be fine before when Rishii was there before. We were pretty much just going on about normal nonsense, as usual. But now that I thought about it, Kashi wasn't as talkative as he normally is. Something must be up. **

"**Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" I asked.**

"**Like I said before, it's nothing," he answered in an odd tone, giving me what seemed to be a look that made me uncomfortable, it was almost an irritable glance.**

"**Well you don't really seem as talkative as you usually do…" my voice trailed off, it seemed useless. **

**Kashi didn't answer, but just continued staring down, hugging his knees to his chest. He looked really upset. I couldn't figure out why. There must've been a reason, but I was with him all day. This was way too confusing for me.**

"**If you want to talk, you know I'm here for yo-…" **

"**Just SHUT UP! Damn it you never seem to be quiet. Just shut up.!" he snapped.**

**This wasn't like Kashi at all. He never did this, ever. Normally he'd tell me if something was bothering him and just shrug it off. Apparently this was different. The way he cut me off… it hurt. He always listens to me and never interrupts, even if this wasn't really that important, still.**

"**I….I'm sorry..?" I said quietly, confused.**

"**You don't even know…" Kashi muttered, standing up.**

"**Well maybe if you'd tell me, I would know," I replied angrily. There was no reason I should be treated like this. I'm not a child and he makes me sound so stupid, as if I don't know anything, as if I'm the most annoying person he's ever seen,**

"**Well you don't freakin deserve to know," he looked down at me with a look of what seemed to be disgust.**

**I stood up, anger surging through me.**

"**Why are you being such an ASS to me? I don't understand you at all!" I spoke loudly.**

"**You and everybody else don't. Maybe that's a sign that you should just…" he gave me a really angry look, his voice rose.**

"**Just WHAT?" I roared.**

"**Just go the FUCK away.! I don't even want to LOOK at you right now; you're frustrating me beyond belief. Just go somewhere!" he screamed.**

"**How about you MAKE me?! Stop treating me like a fagging baby! You don't even know how absurd you're being!" I yelled.**

"**I don't even want to fucking be near you right now. Go the hell away NOW!" he screamed, glaring at me.**

"**Maybe I WILL. The hell with you, jackass!" I gave him the nastiest look I could and stormed off down the path Ririshii walked down just moments ago. **

"**Bitch…" I heard him say behind me, it was intentionally loud enough for me to hear.**

**Angry tears poured down my cheeks. I couldn't take this. Having Kashi mad at me was the worst. This never happened before, ever. We've never argued or anything. What the heck was his problem? He never yelled at me. He's never called me a bitch. He's never said that he didn't want to look at me or be around me. It was usually quite the opposite, actually. I couldn't even fathom what had just happened. My head hurt, my throat hurt, my heart hurt. This was way too much for me to handle. **

**Since I was walking at a quick pace, I got home in no time. I basically tore through the door. Anger and sadness must have been radiating off of me at this point. I slammed the door and Dad gave me a look. **

"**What's cookin' hun?" he asked, trying to be funny.**

"**I'm not in the mood today, Dad," I sniffled, starting to walk to my room. **

**Dad gave me a more concerned look this time instead of a teasing one and didn't say anything. He's never really been much of a dad, anyway. He wouldn't know what to say to me to even try to make me feel better. But then again, nobody could. It all happened at once, it all happened so randomly, it all happened when I was actually having a good day. **

**I slammed the door and put on a t-shirt and shorts, tears still rapidly streaming down my face. I threw myself on my bed and dug my head into my pillows. I was so confused, so sad. It made absolutely no sense. How could all of this just happen? Did this mean that Kashi was going to break up with me? If that happened, I don't even know what I'd do; I'd be so miserable. I didn't even want to think about it. I heaved huge sobs, the world just felt like it was falling apart. The looks he gave me kept replaying through my head. It hurt, so badly. My stomach started to hurt and I started to try to endure the worst. I cried and wailed to myself, I must've looked like a mess. **

**Suddenly, my door opened. For a moment I thought it would be Kashikoi, apologizing. But then, why would he do that? Of course it wasn't him, it was Dad with a bowl of what I saw to be a huge bowl of chocolate brownie ice cream, my favorite. **

"**I expect to know everything that happened," Dad sat at the end of my bed. **

**I sat up and took the bowl and ate a spoonful of ice cream, although it didn't really help my mood.**

"**I've never seen you like this (he obviously didn't count the time when Mom died), what's the matter?" he said in a tone that kind of soothed me even though he probably didn't intend for it to.**

**I told him absolutely everything from when Ririshii walked off to Kashi calling me a bitch. I just couldn't put what happened into perspective. It was all just so harsh, so uncalled for. **

"**There must be something that he isn't telling you," Dad said, even though I figured that out over an hour ago, "or he's just being hormonal."**

**I took my last bite of ice cream and considered that.**

"**It's really nothing to cry over. He isn't going to break up with you over that. Maybe he just needs his space. But for now, if I hear you cry again, you're in serious trouble, missy," Dad slightly smiled and patted my shoulder, taking my empty bowl and walking out of the room. **

**I know that me crying and being upset like this really frazzles Dad and confuses him, and possibly makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't know how to deal with a growing up teen like me, there's no way. But what he said actually really helped. I decided to not talk to him until he talked to me first. I started to stop crying and turned out the light. I laid there in the dark and tried to go to sleep, despite of the dozens of thoughts going through my head. **

**I woke up in the middle of the night with a start. Tears were streaming down my face. All that I remember is that the dream involved me and Kashi. I didn't even know. After about 10 minutes, I coaxed myself back to sleep. **

**The next time I woke up, it was morning. I felt awful. Kashi was all that was on my mind. I trudged out of bed and threw a sweatshirt over my head. I looked in the mirror. My face was so tearstained, I looked like I'd cried for days. It sure felt like I did. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and made my way downstairs. Dad was in the kitchen and there was a plate filled with cinnamon sugar toast and butter. It smelt really good and I sat down at the small table. **

"**Feeling any better today?" Dad asked me. **

**My stomach felt all knotted and I was still really sad, "Ehh, a liiiittle bit, but not really."**

"**Just try to get it off of your mind; it'll pass, trust me," Dad smiled.**

**I didn't even realize that he was capable of giving good advice. I munched on two pieces of toast and made my way back up to my room. An overwhelming feeling came upon me and as I closed the door to my room again, I started crying all over again. I sobbed as quietly as I could; I didn't want to deal with Dad coming upstairs and trying to make me feel better. I hated Kashi for making me feel this way. Words couldn't describe how angry I was. **

**It was a rather overcast day, and in a matter of minutes, it started to rain. Perfect way to reflect my feelings. A huge cloud of gloom went over my head and it had no intention to go away. **

**I walked over to my closet and got out my violin. It would definitely take my mind off of things. I started to play Pachelbel's Canon in D major. That song has always been one of my favorites. I must have played for hours. I loved my violin so much. Just playing it always made me feel better. **

**Dad burst into my room, "Megami! Megami! Jesus I almost forgot, Megami holy shit we have a problem!!" **

**I immediately stopped playing, "WHAT?!" Was something wrong?**

"**Your String Quartet tryouts……they're today! Shit why didn't I think of this earlier?! Ugh I'm so forgetful…"**

"**Are you freaking kidding me?!" I'd completely forgot. I didn't even mark down the day. Luckily, you could pick whichever piece you wanted out of a whole selection. I decided to play Mozart's Violin Concerto No. 3. I already knew that piece like the back of my hand, not to mention it was among the hardest pieces of the selection, so I had an advantage. I became flustered. I wasn't ready for this at all! I wasn't in the mood. There was no way I'd make it in. **

"**Dad, there's no way that I could possibly do this today; I'm just not in the mood and I won't do well at all!" I complained**

"**Well I'm leaving it up to you. It doesn't make a difference to me whether you do this or not," he winked and walked out of the room.**

**Ever since I was younger, it has been a goal of mine to make it into the String Quartet. Only the best from around where we lived made it in and it was a very prestigious and exclusive group. Not to mention, there were only four in the whole group. I wasn't ready to let Kashi ruin this chance for me. I swept him out of my mind for the time being. On such short notice, it was hard to concentrate. I took a shower in record time and dried my hair. I took out my favorite purple sundress that I use for performing. It had large black flowers on it. I put in pearl earrings and let my natural hair stay down. I was always proud of my natural hair. It was in amazing curls, just as if I'd used a curling iron. I put my bangs to the side with a small black clip so it wasn't that noticeable and I put on my sandals with the huge black flower on the front. I put my violin back in its case and put on a little bit of blush and mascara. **

**I took my polka dotted umbrella from my closet and took my violin case and music and went down the stairs. **

"**You have half an hour to get there, Meggie," Dad said with what seemed to be a look of guilt on his face.**

"**Can't you drive me?" I looked at him in horror. **

"**I would, but I have to fix the battery in the car. It isn't working at all," he looked at me. **

"**Well that's just great," I muttered, opening the door.**

"**Good luck, hon," he said as I closed the door and walked into the pouring rain.**

**Normally, rain doesn't bother me one bit, but on a day that I have to look halfway decent, rain becomes a nuisance. I made my way down the sidewalk, walking over puddles and avoiding getting my head wet at all costs. Thankfully, the tryouts were at the town's performing arts center, which is about 5 blocks away. In a matter of ten minutes, I walked through the door to be greeted by a huge crowd of people. It was just starting. **

**I nudged my way to the backstage door and talked to the reception lady. I was third to last to try out. Originally, 200 people from all around came to try out, but only 95 showed up. I was basically going to be here the whole day. A sea of people around my age were backstage. I appeared to be the youngest. Everybody else seemed to be at least a good 2 years older than me. I didn't let my intimidated feeling show on my face; by now, I should be used to these tryouts. I found a small corner with a music stand where nobody else was. I put all of my stuff down there and started practicing all of my scales. Eventually, we all had to be quiet because it was starting. I flipped my stand so it was almost like a table. I leaned on it and the rain and music lulled me to sleep. **

**I woke up with a start. Why the heck did I fall asleep?! I heard the judges call number 91 onto the stage. I was 93! How long had I slept?! Note to self: Never do that again, ever. I gathered my violin and music onto my lap. The anxiety came to me as I listened to whoever was playing. I was expecting this. Whoever was playing was absolutely amazing. I don't even think that I could've compared myself to them at all. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore it. I couldn't let myself get intimidated. All of a sudden, I started thinking about Kashi and his angry remarks. Not now. I couldn't break down now. This wasn't the time. I took a few deep breaths and calmed myself. I saw a girl walk onto the stage with a cello. I looked over my music while she played and collected myself. The music stopped and the judges started talking. In about five minutes, they called me up onto the stage. **

**I walked around the curtain and looked out into the crowd. It was filled to the brim. People were even standing because all of the seats were filled. There were 3 judges sitting at a table in the center. They announced what I was playing and some of the people in the audience looked shocked. I don't see what the big deal is. The judge said I could begin. Music came on in the background to accompany me since it was a concerto. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for about 7 minutes straight of playing. Not that it was a big deal. But I didn't do too well with large audiences. **

**The song finally ended. I was very pleased with myself. I didn't mess up once and I played to the best of my ability. I looked up at the audience. In the back of the room, the door was opened. I guess it was stuffy since there were so many people. It seemed to still be raining. I saw somebody turn and walk away. Was it Kashikoi? The silhouette seemed to be him. Ugh I didn't have time for this. The judges started to talk about my performance. They said that they'd never seen someone my age play as well as I did. Some of the audience members had thoroughly surprised looks on their faces. I smiled. I felt so accomplished and proud. I walked back behind the curtain and everybody was looking at me. I couldn't help but smile to myself. I looked down modestly and sat there going over my music and holding my violin tenderly. **

**After the last two performances, the judges said that it would be half an hour until the results were announced. I took a peek behind the curtain and nobody seemed to have moved. Of course everybody wanted to stay to hear the judging. I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair and makeup had stayed. I didn't look like a mess at all. I was truly happy right now. I stepped back outside and a group of girls praised me for my performance. I thanked them. It was so odd. I didn't think that I'd feel this way at all after auditioning for the String Quartet. I just sat around and put my violin away and put all of my stuff in a neat pile. **

**Before I knew it, the half hour was over. They announced the cello, the viola, and the second violin. I really truly hoped that I got the place. I closed my eyes.**

"**And the place for First Violin goes to…. Miss Tatsumaki Megami!" one of the judges proclaimed.**

**I almost fell over. Me? Out of all of these people who are like a million times better than me? I walked out onto the stage with the other three people who got in. The judge walked up to me and handed me a ribbon and a diploma of some sort. Everybody made a huge round of applause. I was thoroughly shocked. I didn't know how to feel. A huge smile painted itself onto my face. I was beaming. I decided to feel happy for myself. This was huge. It was amazing. I felt so proud of myself. After another ten minutes of just standing there listening to the judge go on about each of us, the ceremony was over. I stopped to talk with the other three who made it in. There were two boys and a girl. I guess that evened our group out, two boys and two girls. The girl introduced herself as Kaichou, which I thought was pretty ironic, considering it meant Melody. The boys' names were Ikazuchi and Kaji. They were all 18, so they were only a year older than me. The three of them seemed impressed with me. Ikazuchi was the cello and he was in this group for 3 years. The only reason that they had these auditions in the first place is the other three just ditched the group. It was quite a shame and quite a dishonor. I was overjoyed to be a part of this. **

**Soon enough, we all had to go. I grabbed my violin, music, and umbrella and made my way back home. It was slightly raining, but only a sprinkle. I couldn't wait to tell Dad. I quickly made my way home, happier than ever.**

"**Dad! Dad!!!!!" I stormed through the doorway, practically ripping the door off of its hinges. **

**He was sitting on the couch in the living room watching TV sipping a mug of coffee. **

"**What happened?!!" his eyebrows rose.**

"**I made first violin part! I really did!!!" I waved my ribbon and diploma in the air.**

**A look of shock came across his face and he grinned widely, "Meggie, are you kidding me?! That's amazing!" he exclaimed.**

"**I'm so happy, Dad, really I can't believe it!!" I cried.**

"**This calls for some major celebrating! We can go out specially for lunch tomorrow. I don't think many places are open this late," he laughed.**

**I looked at the clock and it was almost midnight. My eyes widened. Where did the day go? I went in the kitchen and started boiling a pot of water to make some instant ramen. **

**I ran up the stairs into my room. I put on some flannel pants and a t-shirt. I took my hair clip out and put my ribbon on my dresser along with my diploma. I smiled at myself in the mirror. Despite what happened yesterday, today was a pretty damn good day. I walked back down the stairs. The ramen was already in bowls on the counter. Dad put the pot in the sink and smiled at me.**

"**I'm really so proud of you, Meggie. This is really an amazing thing for you to have done," he smiled.**

"**Thanks, Dad," I smiled back, taking a forkful of ramen.**

**We sat down on the couch and watched a crime show, eating our ramen in silence. This night was almost perfect. The only thing missing was……. Kashi…… and his father, of course. I hugged Dad good night after I finished my late dinner and started upstairs. **

"**Meggie?" Dad said as I was halfway upstairs.**

"**Yeah, Daddy?" I replied.**

"**Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be fishing with Arashi, all right?"**

"**That's fine, Dad," I said back, "Nighty night."**

"**Good night," he said.**

**Yeah, there went Dad's sympathetic, normal dad mode. He was back to his normal immature self. But, that really wasn't so bad. I washed my face and brushed my teeth in the bathroom and walked into my room, closing my door behind me.**

**I laid down on my bed. I still couldn't believe that I'd made it into the String Quartet. I was quite happy about that, actually. Well of course I was, who am I kidding? It was still lonely without Kashi, though. I missed him coming through the window at night and having him cuddle with me and wake up to a kiss. I got out and opened the windows, letting the cold rainy breeze in. I got back in bed and snuggled under my blankets. The sound of the rain was soothing. My blankets were so warm. Although so many thoughts were swarming through my mind, the craziness of the day allowed me to fall asleep in no time.**

**My dream was weird. It took place in the performing arts center during the auditions. The part that I remember most clearly is figuring out who that silhouette was that disappeared from the doorway when I looked up. Was it some kind of creeper? Or was it Kashi, just as I had originally thought. **

**My eyes slowly opened and the sun was streaming through my window right into my face. I rolled over and my eyes widened. Kashi was standing in my room reading the diploma I had earned yesterday. He looked at me and seemed startled to see that I was awake. My heart jumped. What could I say to him? Did I really want to see him? Does he even realize how awful he had made me feel? I pushed aside all of my questions and came out with the one that I seemed to be wondering the most. **

"**Why are you here?" I asked, stifling a yawn.**

**He looked at me with a guilty expression on his face and put down my diploma. **

"**I.. came to ask if you could forgive me," Kashi said quietly.**

"**Do you even KNOW what you did?" I asked. Here came the tears. My eyes started to well up with tears.**

"**I treated you awfully. It was unfair of me. Really, I'm sorry, Meggie," he said, he almost seemed to be holding back tears.**

**How could I not accept his apology. I loved him more than absolutely everybody. We were friends since we were born. And I wasn't about to end our friendship now. **

"**Kashi, I'll forgive you this time. Just never do that again. Please," I was choking up.**

**He came under the covers with me and held me close. I could feel his tears on my cheek. **

"**Meggie, you're not a bitch and you're definitely not annoying. I want to be with you forever and there isn't a moment where I don't want to look at you. You're my everything. And there isn't anything that I wouldn't do to keep having you here with me. I love you," he whimpered.**

**Knowing Kashikoi, all of that came straight from the heart. **

"**Baby, it's all right," I cooed softly into his ear, "Just calm down. I honestly forgive you. You mean everything to me."**

**And that came straight from my heart.**

**He looked down into my eyes and gave me what was probably the most passionate kiss that he's ever given me before. We laid there for a pretty long time, just kissing. **

"**I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sick of crying," he said smiling, sitting on top of me, wiping a stray tear off his cheek.**

"**Yeah," I smiled back up at him, "crying really sucks after a while." **

"**I agree." he teasingly tugged at a piece of my hair and got off of me. **

"**Wanna get some breakfast?" I asked, my stomach grumbled.**

"**Surely," he smiled, "it'll be on me."**

"**Hmm all righty, hunny." I got up and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Although it wasn't raining anymore, it was still pretty cold outside. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed the back of my neck. A tiny noise escaped from my throat and he laughed. We walked out of my house holding hands and made our way towards a small café. **

**As we ordered our food, things finally started to get back to normal. We laughed and we kissed. Everything was happy again, and I didn't want it any other way.**


End file.
